I recently stumbled upon an embodied trauma, while doing personal growth work.

In my primary school, I was very active in academics, sports, and drama. I once represented my school in a play that was aired on the national television station. I preferred the challenge in sports though; excelling in cross-country, hurdling, long jump — where I was unbeatable, and high jump — also unbeatable. I played lawn tennis, and loved watching figure skating.

Strangely, in my secondary school, I did NOT participate in sports, and I had never noticed this — that I had stopped being competitive.

Do not get me wrong, I excelled wherever I applied myself. However, I did not compete, and I did not put myself forward to compete. If someone tried to get me to compete, I either walked away, or refused to perform.

As a result, most people never really knew how competent I was, save for those who knew me closely. This is true even today.

I have wondered many times, about missed opportunities and experiences, owing to my refusal to compete.

An example: a few years back, as I was playing a leisurely tennis game with a well known coach, I jokingly placed him on the court. He was so stunned that he froze, and let out a loud cry. He later asked, why I did not compete, even at club level. My response was a smile.

The root cause

I had a bad bout of malaria in my senior one. Prior to this, I had had an unpleasant encounter with the school nurse, over not completing a dose of treatment. So when I got malaria AGAIN, I chose not to go to the infirmary. I toughed it out for days.

Sigh! When I think about this experience now, I wonder how I survived.

One of my friends dragged me to the infirmary, because I had stopped eating, and I could barely hold my head up. I remember the situation got so dire, that other students with mild ailments were asked to leave the infirmary. I was convulsing. The nurse needed to focus on me.

Well, I ended up admitted in Nsambya hospital. I don’t remember much of that experience. The only lingering memory I have, is retraining my hand to write; I got so many intravenous drips that my hand was numb.

This experience, contributed to my struggle with anaemia in school. This, in turn weakened my body, so I could not engage in sports competitively anymore. So I stopped competing.

The embodiment

It was during my personal growth work, that I realised that I had not just stop competing in sports, I stopped competing in life.

The embodied trauma from that experience, resulted in me refusing to put myself forward competitively, to get more, to be more, to do more, or to be seen excelling— I had stopped competing.

I progressed in life using the discipline, daring, and drive that my parents taught me; and the innate brilliance I inherited from them.

Do the work

We all have childhood traumas — major, minor or insignificant ones. These traumas were caused by our past life experiences.

Any unresolved traumas are stored in our body. These show up daily, in the way that we conduct our lives, with effects ranging from insignificant, to catastrophic.

The first step to resolving traumas, is AWARENESS. The way to get this awareness, is by being intentional about personal growth work.

In my case, I can now do the deep coaching work, to swiftly resolve this trauma, and transform my life experience going forward.

Have the courage to do the work.❤